Work in Progress
by lhbaghead
Summary: Roxas is a Great Person. Axel is- well, Axel is not. But that's not going to stop him.  AxelxRoxas
1. Chapter 1

So.

It's been almost a complete year since I submitted anything, _anything at all, _as you all may very well know.

This is more of a I'm-sorry-post, as in no way the story made it past anything you see here besides some plot lines and other, later scenes.

The title is literal: this is a complete work in progress, and as such, updates may be few and far between. At any rate, I do hope you enjoy.

As for disclaimers, I own nothing- the characters to Square and Disney, the poem belongs to ee cummings, and anything else mentioned belongs to it's respective properties.

Warnings for mentions of drugs, sex, and violence. Pairings are varied and many, mainly Roxas and Axel.

...

Axel was convinced that he wasn't all that great of a person. Which may be the reason he liked a boy who he was convinced was one of the greatest people in the world, but that's for later in the story.

So, as per old boring regulation, and thus _outdated _regulation, let us start at the beginning of the story. Because, if anything, Axel was a person who didn't follow the up-to-date order of things. Which might be why he thought he might not be that great of a person. Then again, people who didn't follow the order of things were often great people- Einstein, for example. As it turns out, when Einstein had been a young hyperactive lad (much like he had been, Axel likes to think), his teacher had thought him no more than a dumb little shit. Now, Einstein was a great inventor or whatever he was. A genius, certainly. Not that Axel thought himself a genius, but still. Maybe there was some hope for his future yet.

But anyway. Back to the path of things that wasn't really a path, just a small clearing of bushes that would probably scratch your legs to bloody hell if you were there and this path was, in all actuality, a literal path.

Axel liked a Great Person named Roxas. He got good grades (or so he thought, as he had always seen the boy tucked away in a corner somewhere, studying a book so intently Axel was sure he hated studying. And he was sure the blond's lip should have been chewed through by now, what with all the- chewing on it he did. And Axel only knew this from careful observation while in detention. He had nothing better to do. He was not a creepy stalker), unlike Axel, who had failed grade 11 twice until he had been pity passed by all his teachers.

Roxas was also a very good goalie in soccer. This, actually, had been a bit creep-ish on his part as he had sat on the school roof, watching the boy dive and tumble and kick and just look inarguably hot in his shorts that Axel had smoked through a whole pack of cigarettes by the time they had called it a day.

He also had the social skills of a sleepy and irritated bear, which was Very Important to Axel. The reason that such a weird quirk was Very Important for Axel was that he was Supremely Selfish. And, being Supremely Selfish, he wanted someone who only showed nice, soft sides to him and was a right fucking bitch to everyone else. So, he was sure that Roxas had an inner, softer side that he would show Axel once (and if, really, because as well as being selfish, Axel was a slight pessimist) he got to know and love him. It would be romantic. The stuff stories were made of.

And indeed it was, because as it was, Roxas Did Not Like Axel. Not even a tiny bit. Not even a little chuckle of fond remembrance of a certain event or another when mentioned in conversations with Roxas' friends. He wouldn't even look at Axel in the hallway, which kind of put him out because he thought, if anything, he had been eye-catchingly attractive.

The whole not-noticing and not-liking Axel thing might have (and probably was, if Axel gave any length of thought over it) been from the one time he had actually interacted with the other boy. 'Interacting' meaning 'silently handing Roxas a pop while the other looked at him suspiciously'. Axel had thought it was a good way to start a friendship-which-would-turn-into-an-epic romance at the time. But Axel hadn't taken into account that, on the way down the chute, the pop had been knocked about and shaken and horribly beaten up. As it was, the pop was full of angry fizz, and once Roxas popped the tab it had sprayed everywhere, mostly over Roxas. All over his nice white shirt (what a tragedy, Axel had thought at the time, staring at the skin that had suddenly become visible) and his dark blue jeans.

And Axel admits he probably shouldn't have laughed, but he did. He had tried not too, at least- all that escaped was a little snigger, after all. It had been too funny- movie funny. And everyone else had laughed too so Axel was, at least, justified in his little chortle. But when everyone else had laughed it had turned from ha-ha-oh-shit-my-bad funny to stop-it-you-guys-it's-not-_his_-fault funny, which wasn't all that funny in the first place because Roxas had turned a horrible shade of red and had stomped out. Axel, aware of his mistake, had tried to run after him to apologize and hopefully console the poor boy, and maybe take off his shirt, but the blond had disappeared. This had depressed Axel, because, really, it had been the thought that counted. But at least Axel could add 'incredible ninja powers' to the reasons he liked Roxas.

But, yes. Roxas Did Not Like Axel, Plain and Simple.

Which, all in all, kind of put a kink in Axel's plans of asking the blond out because, usually, when someone you didn't like even a tiny bit asked you on a date, maybe dinner and a movie (which was horribly boring in Axel's opinion; a perfect first date, for him, would be a round of paintball, some order-out pizza, and a great bout of sex), you were more inclined to say no. Unless you were a horrible person who was just using the person who had asked you out to get free food and tickets, and who was the kind of person who had a spot in hell for getting someone's hopes up so dazzlingly high, but Roxas was not a Horrible Person. So he would most definitely say no.

And, even if he liked Axel a teeny tiny bit, a little teensy-eensy bit, deep down in his heart, and maybe even further down, like in that iceberg thing that explained that one psychology guy's theory on unconscious and wanting to sex up your mother, he'd still say no because Axel wasn't all that Great of a Person.

Which brings us back to our earlier point.

Axel was convinced he was Not That Great of a Person. As a baby, he had colic, which had driven his parents up the wall at various hours of the night and day. When he was able to walk and, consequently, run, he broke as many vases and flushed as many watches as an antique store had in stock, and his mother had finally given up by the time he had started talking. Which had been quite a shock to his grandmother when he had greeted her with a cheerful 'up yours, you wrinkly old bitch!'.

By the time he had been nine, he had been caught stealing eight times and had accidentally set the yard on fire and, with it, his rabbit Sparky. By the time he was thirteen he had been caught smoking up in the school bathroom, which had started a long series of detentions and suspensions he was still serving up to this day. The year his parents broke up also saw him switching schools because of an expulsion, where he had felt entirely justified to kick the feet out from under the principal, and thus breaking his hip, when the old man had threatened to shave his wild, unruly hair.

At seventeen, he had ended up mangling his father's blue 1979 Camero after a night of hardcore binging on substances he can't quite remember. At nineteen, he had finally been promoted to grade 12 after failing grade eleven twice, due to skipping school, atrocious attitude to the teachers, and his less-than-stellar grades.

Now, at nineteen, teachers were rolling their eyes when his name came up (which it most often did, he hoped), and a lot of places in town wouldn't hire him because they had heard from a previous workplace that he always showed up late, if he decided to show up at all.

And it was only now he was cursing his Bad Boy behaviour, because Great People like Roxas never dated Not Great People like Axel. Usually, Great People like Roxas were straight and would marry beautiful little housewives and get a great job and perfect kids (not like Axel) until, at the age of thirty-five, they had their mid-life crisis and had an affair with the Bad Boy from high school.

Really, though, Axel couldn't wait that long, and he wasn't interested in growing that old, anyway.

So, usually, love stories like Axel's and Roxas' often ended before they started. But, as it turns out, Axel and Roxas' Love Story was not that kind of love story. As it was, Axel and Roxas' love story was a different kind- one of the many different kinds, where Axel had a plan to win Roxas' heart, and they could live in infinite peace and love and youthfulness.

This is where you, the reader, are supposed to sigh and shake your head- because, as you may know, but Axel doesn't, is this is the type of love story that will leave poor Axel scratching his head and wondering what the hell had happened.

...

A little random fact that you may or may not have noticed about Axel is that he had a great love for capitals. Capitals, in Axel's mind, always represented something Bigger and Better. Bigger and Better, in Axel's world, was something that he would eventually have in the future. Not in the near future, mind you, as he was focusing on getting to these Bigger and Better things.

As it was, Bigger and Better, to him, was usually associated with Sex and Fame. A little down the road, Sex and Fame was associated with Love and Money.

So, whenever Axel thought of Sex, Fame, Love, or Money, he would assign capitals to the word. For instance, when he was fourteen, he and his friend Demyx formed a garage band named 'The Stupid Idiots' (they weren't creative) and he had thought of it as 'My Musical Career'. Later, it had turned into 'My Short Lived Musical Career'.

Anyway, this has a point. And the point is that Capitals are how he met Roxas.

It had been a bright and sunny day- well, no, it hadn't been, but he believed that a fated meeting like Roxas' and his deserved bright, happy, sunny days- in literature class. They had been in the poetry unit, and were presenting little biographies and pieces of poetry done by selected poets in front of the class. As per his reputation, Axel hadn't done the homework because he had missed too many classes on which they were supposed to work on the project, and God forbid if he was going to do it on his own time.

After a long winded ass-kissing on why Edgar Allen Poe was a Great Man, an emofag had sat down and Roxas had stood up. Axel, even though he'd like to suggest Love at First Sight, hadn't even been paying attention to the blond, and would have probably kept on ignoring him if it hadn't been for the overhead projection.

He had totally ignored Roxas' voice- any other kid had the same voice, the voice that was trying to be confident but failing miserably because high school sucks like that- and had read the faint lettering of the poem presented on the overhead projection. The poem had no capitals, at all. The poem, as Axel later memorized, was called 'i carry your heart with me(i carry it in', and it went like this:

'i carry your heart with me(i carry it in  
>my heart)i am never without it(anywhere<br>i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done  
>by only me is your doing,my darling)<p>

i fear  
>no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want<br>no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)  
>and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant<br>and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows  
>(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud<br>and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows  
>higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)<br>and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-ee cummings'

After the blond had given his speech on why the poet was a Great Person, Axel was the first to put his hand up when question period came up- which was such a feat because Axel had made a perfect art out of slouching in his chair and Not Caring- and this had surprised the hell out of the teacher because the man (whose name he still didn't know, despite the irritated phone calls from him to his mother) had picked him to ask his question first.

"Why aren't there any capitals?" He had asked plainly, long limbs sprawled out everywhere. It hasn't been mentioned, but Axel was a very tall and lanky teenager. Which, later, might be another reason Roxas hates him, but we're still on the story of how they met, so.

The blond had blinked at him, slowly, as if processing the question took longer than a second, in which time Axel had licked his lips, contemplated skipping gym after literature, and shifted a little so that his ankles crossed and stretched in front of him, potentially bugging the girl who had to put her own feet in front of her lest they rest near Axel's own.

"Well," Roxas had started, body perfectly still. "ee cummings didn't believe words, alone, were important- it was the meaning they conveyed and the way they were arranged that mattered."

And Axel had actually thought about that for a second or two- a bit longer than he would normally give anything school related, which proved that the kid had actually stumped him. Unable to come up with something witty or even muster up the energy to come up with something appropriate, he had simply snorted and deadpanned "Well, that's fucking stupid."

"Axel! Office!"

Among the giggles and high fives- in some ways, Axel was more mature than his grade eleven and twelve brethren- Axel got up, all grins and smooth happiness, and walked out of the room.

Well, he tried to, because when he met the kid's eyes he positively _glared_ at him- and Axel had always been a sucker for a good glare.

"Well," Roxas started again, finally, drilling holes into his forehead. "Maybe you're too fucking stupid to understand anything."

...

That had been the fated meeting. It really hadn't been that special, except for the fact that it had caused Axel to freeze, the teacher to yell at him, and for him to feel utterly silly and exalted for no reasons he could decipher at the time, all the way to the principal's office, where he had been chewed out by an annoyed, mousey looking man named Mickey Maus. Axel thought someone had been shitting him when they had announced the principal's name on the day he had entered that high school, but it had been, sadly (or awesomely, if you looked at it differently) not a joke.

And the most horrible thing is that Axel didn't even think about Roxas again until he saw the blond boy and had offered him the drink. Which, as pointed out, had gone terribly and horribly wrong and had caused Roxas to have a horrible opinion of him (not unlike most people's opinion on him, actually), and Axel to pick up some slightly creepy and voyeuristic tendencies.

This was all, of course, his fault, just like most things were. His faults were so long and complicated there was no book in the world larger than his 'accomplishments'. No fucking _series_, never mind.

Axel was a Bad Boy. That was that.

This was about the time he realized that he wasn't That Great of a Person, and that Roxas was That Great of a Person. This was also about the time Axel started coming up with stupid plans to get Roxas to notice him and fall madly in love with him. Or, well. Even if Roxas looked at him that would be ok, but Axel liked to aim for the high ground.

Since food was completely out of the option for Axel's Super Awesome Plan, he wasn't sure of anything else he could do. He would offer to do Roxas' homework if he did his own. He would offer to walk Roxas' home everyday, but he always walked home with his brother and Riku, who was a fucking jerk and deserved to be punched in the face. He would also offer to carry Roxas' books for him but Roxas wasn't a girl, which wasn't a major problem in Axel's books but would be one in Roxas'. Also, Axel wasn't very smart in the first place so he couldn't think of anything else to do.

So he went to Namine, who was a good friend of his and someone he had had sex with twice, to ask for help. They ended up watching romance movies.

Romance movies, Axel soon realized, were very boring and stupid and something he could possibly go his whole life without watching. And as Axel had a very short attention span, but a very desperate need for a plan, he decided to watch the movie but _not _watch it.

And since he was a man, especially a man that had had sex with Namine before, he starts thinking about Namine. And sex with Namine.

Namine is a Bad Girl. Axel isn't sure why Namine is a Bad Girl, but he thinks it has something to do with the fact that she drops acid and lives alone because she was kicked out of her parent's house. She's never told anyone why she was kicked out of her parent's house, but he thinks it has to do with the fact that she sleeps with girls and drops acid.

She's also very manipulative, which is kind of sad because when she's manipulating you she's so nice and kind about it, like she doesn't want to do it. Plus, she's really very good at it, so you feel like you're doing it because you want too.

She's also an artist, which is in no way a Bad Thing but is pretty cool because she is very good at it.

After their fourth movie, which is about two gay guys and is called Mambo Italiano and isn't very interesting or romantic at all, Axel looks over at Namine, who is randomly drawing on her thigh.

"You should make me a tattoo." Axel says, leaning over and tapping his fingers on her thigh. On it is a tribal heart with tribal wings, and it looks like really cool because it wraps around her leg. Right now she's working on the inside of her thigh, and he traces the lines down there.

She looks up and smiles at him through his lashes. She doesn't look convinced when he sends her the most innocent look he can muster.

"What?" He says, trying to sound confused. It doesn't work because she puts her pen down and grabs his hand; but then she moves it up her thigh more and he grins like the pervert he is and is often accused of being.

"Well, if you insist." He grins.

After they have sex Namine says, "I know Roxas. Kairi's boyfriend is his brother."

Kairi is Namine's twin sister, who is the Good Girl who hasn't been kicked out of her parent's house and still loves her sister passionately, even is she disapproves of the drugs Namine does and the sex she has. She is also dating Sora, who is Roxas' brother.

Axel can't believe he's been this stupid.

"I'm also in the photography club with him." Namine says.

Axel can't believe he's been this stupid.

"You realize now," Axel says, throwing his arm around Namine's shoulders where she is curled up to him, "That you have to put in a good word for me now and hook me up and stuff."

Namine laughs, pokes him in the rib; it hurts because he broke that rib when he was dirt biking and took a wicked awesome jump and bit the dust. His dad and mum weren't very sympathetic, so after he had went to the hospital they had made him do all the chores anyway and it's never quite healed properly. So he rubs it and makes generally unpleasant noises and over exaggerates.

Namine laughs, and leans down to 'kiss it better'- 'kissing it better' involves a lot of tongue and spit and supremely dirty licking. It makes him want to go for a round two.

So he does, and after round two Namine laughs at him.

"I don't think you're supposed to ask the girl you've slept with if she can hook you up with her sister's boyfriend's brother."

"Who says?" Axel asks. He feels like a smoke. He wonders if Namine has any on her.

"I'm pretty sure there's a law."

"Well, I'm pretty unconventional. Do you got any smokes on you?"

...

Okay. It's not like Axel is a Bad Guy. He's a Bad Boy, sure, but in his head a Bad Boy is someone who makes Bad Decisions and does Bad Things. A Bad Guy is someone who is actually Bad to the core. Who makes Bad Decisions and does Bad Things because he _wants_ too. Someone like Saix, who is a guy who Axel hangs around sometimes and has known since he was little.

So, Axel is a Bad Boy because he doesn't do anything to hurt anyone. He does it because it makes him feel good. And if it hurts someone he likes? Yeah, he feels bad. If it hurts someone he doesn't like?… Well, okay, he's a bit of a Bad Guy. But he thinks he has some very good redeeming qualities, like loyalty and… sharingness and whatever, but he can't really think of anything right now because he's hanging out with Namine and they're at the mall and Roxas is _right there_.

"Roxas!" Namine calls out, and it's possibly a little too soon because he just spotted Roxas and Roxas is right there and his shirt is a little wet around the edges and so is his hair and Axel wants to lick him.

Roxas turns around and smiles, a little quirk of his lips, and shoulders his bag. "Hey Namine."

Namine smiles and chats with him for a second and Axel kind of feels like a totally douche, just standing there all gangly and tall, looking anywhere but at Roxas' face. Including his nails. His index and pointer finger on his right hand are basically the same length, he notices; remembers something about how that's supposed to single him out as gay or whatever. And Axel is not gay. Just sexually free. And gay for Roxas.

Totally gay for Roxas, he thinks, taking a moment to eye the blond's neck where a droplet escapes his hair and slides down the skin. Axel still wants to lick him. Really bad.

"Roxas, this is my friend Axel. Axel, Roxas."

Axel's hands come out of his pockets and before he knows what he's doing he has his hand sticking out in front of him, and Roxas is looking at him weirdly, as if silently asking _who shakes hands anymore?_ He can hear Namine smother a giggle by sniffing. See if he ever gets her a hit of acid ever again.

Nevertheless, Roxas shakes his hand because he's been raised polite, apparently, and Axel takes a second to enjoy the fact that his fingers practically wrap around Roxas' hand, his fingers just brushing the knuckle under his pinkie finger. He also notices Roxas' grip is pretty firm. _Firm grip _reroutes to _good hand job_. His brain kind of shuts down.

"Uh, hi." He says, letting go of Roxas' hand. He's really happy he didn't be stupid like in those chick flick movies and hold onto his hand for like, five minutes more than he should have. That'd be embarrassing. "Nice to meet you."

Roxas looks at him oddly but repeats the phrase back at him, and that's when Namine touches his elbow.

"I need to go to the bathroom real quick." She says, with a small, soft smile on her face. Axel thinks he hates her because she's a _lying liar that lies_. "Wait here for me, ok?"

"Sure," Axel nods, and considers ditching her because Roxas for sure is going to leave, anyway, and. And. The little _faker_.

But when she leaves to go 'bathroom' Roxas doesn't leave, and is eyeing him up and down like he's weird. And Axel is, but Roxas is looking at him like he's the _bad_ kind of weird. Axel likes to think he's the eccentric kind of weird, like Hunter S. Thompson, Oscar Wilde, or whoever the fuck is famous for being weird. Michael Jackson weird.

Or, well, he takes that back, because Michael Jackson is _too _weird.

"What?" Axel says, looking kind of offended. And this is soooo not the way to go about winning Roxas' heart. He's sure of it. Unless Roxas likes offensive and weird, in which case he's so totally into it and on that role like peanut butter on pancakes. Which is fucking delicious.

"I'm pretty sure you spilled pop on me before." Roxas states bluntly, and his Roxas-is-Great meter goes up about five notches because he likes blunt people. People who don't go with the whole bullshit ideal and pretend to like someone. Roxas is that person. He is definitely in love.

"That-" Axel shrugs his shoulders, looks down at Roxas' feet. He's wearing worn converse. Like, _real_ worn. Like, _original worn_. "Are those like, vintage?"

Roxas looks down at his feet. "Yeah. They were my dad's. He lost them right after he bought them and just found them."

"Fucking wicked." Axel nods, then says, "That was an accident, yanno? I didn't think it'd be shaken up and shit."

Roxas shrugs his one shoulder, shifts a little on his feet.

"I mean," Axel said, and chuckles nervously. In his head, he's calling himself a tool, a douche, and an idiot. Also about another million derogatory names that he knows he would never say in front of his mother. Or his father, even. "I was just trying to be nice, yanno?"

Roxas raises an eyebrow, leans back onto his heels. He kind of looks like a model, or American Apparel, or some popular brand name that Axel would never ever _ever_ wear, unless he found it at a Goodwill and never knew about it. The 'Roxas-is-Great' meter goes down one because Roxas can't be perfect, apparently. But he's totally fine with that, for sure. Because Roxas is hot and still totally lickable.

"Who knew a can of pop that goes down a chute to be dropped roughly into an opening would be so shaken up it fizzes enough to explode when opened?" Roxas says dryly, and Axel takes a minute to pause and actually think about what Roxas said in detail. Then realizes there is no way he could possibly be more in love with the kid.

"Do you want to go out?" Axel says, then blanches because _c'mon._

This makes Roxas eyebrows raise impossibly high and, for a split second, he looks so surprised and weirded out and adorable that Axel feels like everyone is right about him in that precise moment- that he is fucking insane and a weirdo and a disaster waiting to happen. It shames him for a second before he actually remembers he agrees with them.

"I mean-" Axel says, at the exact same time Roxas says "What?"

"I mean-" Axel starts again, and he darts his eyes towards the old artist guy sitting near the railing, drawing caricatures. He's randomly doodling on a paper and _oh my God_, no one has hair like that except him. He hopes he gets drawn with roller skates and a crazy grin. Maybe while holding a flame thrower. That'd be totally awesome.

He realizes he's trying to distract himself, like he's wont to do, and turns his eyes back on Roxas. Who is still looking at him all confused. "Like, I mean, not going-out going-out. Well, going out. Like, to a movie or something."

When Roxas continues looking at him like some deranged freak, he adds on, lamely. "As friends."

"Oh!" Roxas says, and than looks decidedly uncomfortable. Axel guesses the boy doesn't get many people that are so open about- well, friendship or whatever- asking him out like that. He doesn't really know what to say to make the boy less awkward.

"Um. I'm- busy." Roxas stutters, and than he looks shifty as fuck as though his lie wasn't easy enough to tell through. Not like Axel specified a time or anything.

This kind of bugs the hell out of him. Simply because, ok, yeah, he's an oddball and shit, but the boy could at least be _polite_ about it. Or more crafty. It'd figure Roxas is a crappy liar.

So, because it bugs the hell out of him and Axel is Axel, through and through, he grins a mean, shit-eating grin at Roxas, which makes the boy shiftier. If possible. Christ, it seems like the boy has a packet of coke shoved up his ass or something, he's that sketchy.

_Not the alley to be going up there, Axel_, he thinks, because, yeah. Thinking of Roxas' ass? So not part of the plan right now.

"Not like I said now or anything." Axel snarks, trying to distract himself from his distractions. Sometimes he swears he has ADD. Or ADHD. Whichever one made him more vibrant and mean or whatever. "But, ya know. Whatever."

Roxas keeps on looking sketchy as fuck and eyes him like he's unsure of whether Axel will attack him or not. Axel considers it- he really does- but then surmises it would probably end up with him licking Roxas' face and the other boy backing right the fuck off. Axel doesn't want that.

"I'm leaving." Axel announces loudly, out of nowhere even for him. Roxas' eyebrows raise higher.

"What about-"

"She's a lying liar who lies and I'm going to kick her in the face next time I see her." Axel informs him, and then turns on his heel. This is when he realizes he wants to get the fuck out of there. And fast. Meat loaf has nothing on him.

"Uh-"

"Bye!" Axel calls loudly over his shoulder, and distracts himself over being disappointed he couldn't see his awesome caricature and imagining what it would be like, flame thrower and all.

...

That mall meeting being a disaster aside, Axel feels like the day is a success. Mostly because he's smoked a twenty bag with his friend Demyx and they're discussing the merits of sketchy squirrels or shifty ducks.

"I mean-" Demyx is saying, and Axel leans a bit closer to look into his mouth, which is like, this deep fucking pink color that he's only seen on certain lady parts. He wonders how'd Demyx would react if he started calling him vagina-mouth. "Squirrels fucking dart around all the place and when you get close they just fuck right off, quicker than- than-"

Demyx looks disgruntled, as if he can't find the words. Axel laughs in his face.

"Vagina-mouth." He states simply.

"What?" Demyx says back, looking even more disgruntled. It's hilarious, which he says and demonstrates with his laughter. Demyx starts laughing with him because, hey, they're high. Nothing isn't hilarious right now except maybe dying kittens and the possibility of no sex for the rest of their lives.

"Ok! Ok." Demyx says, snickering, eyes bright. "I forgot what the fuck we were talking about. What the fuck were we talking about?"

Axel snickers with him, lightly trailing his fingernails up his arm because it feels cool and kind of like his arm is going to go numb. Axel totally and completely loves being high. And being high with Demyx is fun as hell because the boy doesn't ever feel bad. Or, when he does, he sings his blues out so it just sounds real good and boppy and awesome. Axel could do with some music right now.

"I could do with some music right now." He says, and when he leans forward he actually falls off the couch, which just makes both him and Dem laugh so fucking hard that there's some thumping from the next door neighbours, telling them to quiet down. It's in Morse code and everything.

After ten minutes of laughing their asses off Axel manages to crawl under the coffee table and turn on the record player- a fucking record played, which is totally the most fucking awesome thing on the planet Axel thinks. Record players separate the losers from the real music fanatics. Or the other losers. But, at any rate, Demyx has a record player and it plays records that Demyx has combed through multiple music stores all across the country for.

The first song is this guy basically talking, something about the class of 97' and some shit. It says something about chewing gum and algebra he thinks. At any rate, it's fucking inspirational. It's probably the greatest fucking thing Axel has ever heard. And Demyx must think so too because he's singing along, air guitaring perfectly because, of course, Dem knows the whole fucking song off by heart. For a minute Axel actually thinks he's playing a guitar.

By the time it gets to 'Keep you old love letters, and throw away your own bank statements', Axel's mouth is slack in awe and he feels so happy and fulfilled that he says, "Man. Man, Dem. There's this kid, right? And I'm like, totally. Totally gone for him and shit."

Demyx actually stops his air guitar for a minute, which is a Big Deal when it comes down to it because Demyx is actually a musical genius. Literally, a genius, able to imitate a song perfectly after hearing it twice, at most, depending on the difficulty. Axel likes to fancy that, when (and it's a when, not an if, that's how much Axel believes the other boy is a genius) Demyx becomes a Rock God, Axel will be the one guy that says, 'Hey, I knew him back in the day!' and he'll be able to revel the media with tales of how much of a badass Demyx was back in high school and in the subsequent years before his Fame.

It's at this point that Demyx snaps his fingers in front of Axel's face and Axel realizes that he's spaced out on the blond's future while the blond was presently _right there_.

"Shit," Axel laughs, and Demyx laughs along with him until he pulls a serious face and looks Axel straight in the eye.

"You in love with this boy, Axel?" Demyx says in all seriousness, and it would make him laugh, how serious the boy is being, except for the fact that he's just that serious. That's a lot of serious, in Axel's opinion.

It takes him a moment to think about it, but only a moment because Axel is a quick thinker and he's high, and the silly blooming feeling in his chest, the one that's like getting a ticket to your favourite concert or getting that dirt bike you've had your eye on for, like, _years_- that's the feeling in Axel's chest, the giddiness of fulfillment, and it makes him laugh happily.

"Yeah, Dem. I'm so totally gone on him it's ridiculous." Axel starts, leaning back against the couch and rising a hand up, waving it at the ceiling as if it means something. And it totally does- represents the blue sky and the bright sun and all the things up there, things that remind him of that blond kid. "He's just- a Great Person. Man. Even just. I bet if he smiled at me, it'd light up my fucking world, you know?"

Demyx shoots him a silly grin and leans back with him, watches him wave his hand at the ceiling, totally getting his meaning with every wave of his fingers, the way he curves his hand. They just sit like that for awhile, staring and being totally fucking stoned ("Man we're fucked." Demyx comments), and it's good and peaceful, the record playing some beatific Bob Dylan, until Demyx talks.

"You mean that Roxas kid, right? The one Namine was telling me about?"

"Fuck ya I mean Roxas." Axel sighs, the sigh of the deeply in love. "Cutest boy I've ever seen."

Demyx hmm's, then, quite suddenly, "He's in my Psych class ya know."

Axel shoots up at that, which startles Demyx, and for a split second Axel thinks _serves you right you fucking prick_ but that's also kind of totally not his style because Demyx didn't do anything really, just _withheld the information of Axel's freaking day. _Not really his fault, again, but it's easier to blame Demyx for Axel's stupidity rather than blame himself. Hey, Axel never said that he had a stock in the moral bank.

"You kidding me? You didn't tell me this piece of information? This, this, valuable nugget of golden news?" Axel tries to look as scandalized as possible, which isn't hard. The pot, combined with his flare for the dramatic and stupid, makes it quite easy actually. Axel does quite like being an actor. "I'm hurt! Shocked! Hurt and shocked!"

Demyx just raises an eyebrow at his theatrics, not bothering to put up with what many people call 'his bullshit'. The blond has always been more of the chill kind of stoner, Axel laments, but sometimes he is too, which is alright for the most part. But not he just feels hyperaware, with this little new piece of information about his beloved Roxas. This is when Axel realizes he may have slightly creepy stalker-ish tendencies

"Yaaaaaaa, uh, I didn't know until Namine text me today." Demyx starts, kicking out his leg to get into a more comfortable position. Axel, who has learned to give into his urges when stoned, squeezes just behind the boy's knee cap. In return, he gets a twitch and a slap on the arm. Before any kind of war can start (and Axel is relentless in all forms of war), Demyx says, "She also told me to tell you to tell me the story of your embarrassing idiocy. With Roxas. Today."

At that Axel's excitement withers because, to him, it had been enough of a traumatic experience- looking and acting like he was a spazoid freak in front of Roxas and knowing he did- that he had been resolutely Not Thinking About It all of today. And now he was supposed to tell the story? Really?

"I don't want to talk about it." He groans, flops back onto the couch. Except he misjudges the distance a bit and when he's all settled he finds himself inches away from Demyx face, staring up into the blue eyes of a very amused individual. And an also getting more interested and horny individual, if Axel is reading this right.

Which he does read right, because Demyx says, "Well, let's not talk about it." Then, because the blond has no finesse. "Hey, wanna make out?"

And because Axel is completely like that, and always horny, he says "Ok."

...

The next day at school doesn't exist. Mainly because Axel skips it because he doesn't feel like going, and sleeping on Demyx' couch was just like not sleeping at all. Plus making out with the boy was always a treat, even though, for all intents and purposes, Demyx was straight. Which Axel understood. He really did. Which was why they never had sex and the most he ever got from the other boy was a hand job.

At any rate, yesterday was enough of a success, and Axel feels like making this day a success too. So at 9 am he phones up Xigbar, his boss, and asks if he can pick up a shift or something. Which turns out to be a yes, so an hour later he finds himself at his job site in a wife beater and sweat pants, both of which have more paint stains on them than a sample book.

Axel's job is very typical of someone that doesn't go to school and doesn't really give a shit about his direction in life. Essentially, Axel paints houses. Or large buildings. Hell, he even helped paint a new resort that had opened up just outside Destiny Islands once. Sometimes, he washes windows. Sometimes, he re-shingles a house. Basically, Axel's job involves him hanging from the sides of buildings on harnesses that aren't up to regulation, which Xigbar bitches about daily, and doing the more dangerous and most boring stuff that no one else will ever do. He's basically the outside guy in a large construction firm.

He doesn't mind the job. It pays well and most of the guys that work with him don't give a shit that he's skipping school and doing whatever the fuck he wants. They just want him to get his part of the job done, which he appreciates and is totally fine with. It also helps that they're the most fun group of guys he could hang out with while working, mostly because the lot of them are complete fucking characters. Axel thinks it says a lot about him that he fits in with this rag tag group of men (and one woman).

Of course, sometimes the job sucks. Like when it's over plus fifty in summer and Luxord is taking way too goddamned long to get the water bottles refilled. Or when all that's required is that he clean the windows of a fifty foot tall building. Like today.

Washing windows is probably the least appealing job out of the long list of things that Axel can do when he works. He gets wet, there's soap everywhere, and the fucking harness he usually gets stuck with (like today) can be a bitch to work if he isn't careful.

Which, of course, he isn't. Especially today, because hand jobs just aren't enough anymore and all he can think about is Roxas. Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, with his blond hair and blue eyes and his really rather nice legs and his very lick-able neck, especially when he's wet.

So of course Axel can't help himself. He fantasizes a bit.

Axel's favourite fantasy, involving Roxas and some really... probably-not-going-to-happen things:

_"Axel, Axel. Axel." Axel chuckled lightly, pressed his lips against the crease where Roxas' thigh curved into his hips; dragged his teeth lightly over the skin there. This made Roxas arch up into his mouth, made his breath hitch._

_"Yes, Rox-as?" He sing-songs; he pushed his fingers deeper in, crooked them and pressed hard and fast and licked at the puckered skin sucking in his fingers. He delighted in the shudder Roxas gave. "Do you like that?"_

_"Axel." Roxas gasped again, pressed down onto Axel's fingers. "Yes, yes, yes. Please."_

_Axel laughed again, licked at the hole to make Roxas gasp. "I know you do. You like it hard, huh? Like my fingers in you, filling you up."_

_Axel pressed the tip of another finger in- the third one- and just pushed it in until it just stretched the outer ring wider; Roxas whimpered, and Axel gave a wicked grin from between his legs. "Beg for it a little more, babe." Axel pushed his fingers deeper, watched Roxas' cock jump against his stomach; licked a hot line down his balls. "Say 'please, Axel, please fuck me hard'."_

_Roxas looked down at him, mouth puffy red and shiny with spit; he bit his lip again, pulled at his hands which were tied to the headboard._

_"C'mon, Roxy." Axel murmured, pressed a sucking kiss to Roxas' hardness. "Beg for it."_

_Roxas gasped, threw his head back. "Please, Axel. Please. Please, fuck me."_

It's at this point that Axel hears his name being yelled and _holyfuckingshit _he's kind of falling out of his harness. Which isn't really a big deal, what with being safely buckled in, except it really is a bit of a big deal because Axel is an idiot who forgot to safely buckle himself in. He's also about twenty stories up, which would not be very beneficial to his wish to keep on living, or to keep all the bones in his body unbroken. He's pretty sure Roxas would find neither attractive.

"Shit, sorry, fuck, my bad!"

"You fucking idiot!" Xaldin, his unofficial second boss, yells from the ground, shadowing his eyes from the sun so that he can glare up at Axel with the glare of a feral animal. "Do that again and I'm going to dock you, in more ways than one!"

"Ya ya." Axel mutters, but not loud enough for Xaldin to hear because that man is one scary motherfucker. Built like a fucking bear with thick black dreads, Axel is pretty sure no one has ever taken on Xaldin and lived to tell to tale. The man is like his own legend. Luxord will swear up and down that he saw the man carry eight beams of lumber wood without breaking a sweat once.

Before the man can walk away, Axel's stomach growls and he's reminded that, no, he hasn't eaten. Not that he ever does unless reminded, but hey, whatever. "Xaldin!" He screams down, because he's twenty stories up and the man wouldn't be able to hear him otherwise. Mostly because Axel doesn't possess the massive baritone Xaldin does. "When's lunch?"

"Half an hour." Xaldin yells back up at him. Quite effortlessly, Axel realizes with a sulk. "Get to fucking work!"

"Aye aye captain!"

When Axel and his work buddies enter the cheap little fast food restaurant they pick for lunch, they enter laughing hard, rambunctious and stupid, at something Luxord has said- something involving a little redhead and her ability to- well, ok, nothing they can say in polite or even _mixed_ company, but it's pretty fucking funny, especially the comment from Xigbar after.

Xigbar is probably the funniest motherfucker ever, in Axel's humble (and it is humble, thank you very much) opinion. The guy is like a crack head without the crack. And it really helps sometimes that you're scared into laughter because, even if Xiggy is the funniest motherfucker alive, he's also the scariest looking. Bigass scar on his face, eye patch, pointy little teeth like fangs and black hair with gray strands that are all pulled back into a tight ponytail. He kind of looks like a super villain mad scientist or something.

At any rate, it's their laughter that brings attention to all of them, and whose attention does it bring but sweet dear little Namine's attention. Who, he realizes, he still hasn't kicked in the face.

When she waves him over he grins and swaggers like a cowboy, hands hooked into the loops of his dirty jeans, his slightly damp white wife beater clinging to his frame, hair in a messy ponytail. He just needs the cowboy hat, he thinks. Maybe he could borrow Luxord's. That'd be kickass, for sure. He could be a kickass cowboy.

When he reaches the table he grins lazily, eyes zeroing in on Namine because that's when he realizes that Roxas is there and eating and utterly adorable and looking utterly embarrassed to be there. Might be embarrassed because Axel is there and all now, but it's not like he's going to come out and admit his undying love for the blond. Not yet, anyway. Not with all the preppy little shits staring at him like he's something else. A bad something else, for that.

"Namine, baby, sweetheart!" He says loudly, eyes twinkling. She smiles back at him, amused and clearly aware of the fact that he's improbably in love with the blond boy sitting next to her. His grin sharpens a little. "I just realized I haven't told you about that promise I made to myself, the one where I promised I had to kick you _in the face_."

There's titters around the table; a girl he recognizes as Namine's sister, with her dyed red hair, glares at him and opens her mouth, a round, artificially red 'o'. Axel remembers why he likes the blond sister so much more out of the two.

Before she can shoot her mouth off or make Axel's eyes roll into the back of his head, he interjects, "I'm not threatening you now am I sweetie?" When her mouth snaps closed, eyes burning, he laughs. Maybe at her, maybe at her meekness, but whatever. He prefers people with a backbone and, Axel finds, laughing at them when they're trying to grow one just makes them more determined.

"And, at any rate, me and Nam' here are _friends_. I'm sure she's told you all about me." He drawls, his grin turning more lazy even though when he looks at Namine his gaze is more of a glare. "And I'm sure she's told you her _lying liar ways._"

Namine smiles up at him, laughing internally. He can see it in her baby blues, the color of a light blue pencil crayon. This makes him ease up a bit because, yes, ok. He's overreacting but she knows, probably, how he made an idiot of himself after she left to 'go bathroom'. _Damn fucking women, _he thinks. _No wonder I'm more in love with Roxas than any girl I've met_.

"So, like," He starts, re-hooking his thumbs into the loopholes of his jeans from where they had apparently abandoned their post. "Can I give you that kick to the face now? I gotta get back to work soon, ya know?"

This time, Namine does outright laugh at him, a little tittering giggle that annoys him a bit because it's kind of fake. Oh well, he thinks. We all have our masks and the friends we put these masks on with. Namine wasn't really that different, though she was more of a 'special unique snowflake' than the cardboard copies around her. Except Roxas. Roxas was also a special unique snowflake.

"How about a kiss instead?" She muses, fingers tapping on her thigh and her face tilted up towards him. Her smile is big and wide and sweet and he pauses to assess it because there is no fucking way she's playing the innocent act, asking for a simple kiss.

When his eyes flick over towards Roxas, though, who is watching the events with a little flush in his cheeks and wide eyes, trying to look like he isn't looking, something clicks into place and his lazy grin turns sharp and devious and calculating because if this isn't an opportunity than he doesn't know what is.

"Aw, baby, I don't wanna put a show on for your friends," And they both don't mention that yes, Axel, in fact, _does _want to put on a show for her friends. As a matter of fact, Axel's completely sure he was _born_ to put on a show for the human race.

It's also a question, a reassurance because Namine knows what the hell he's going to do. Judging by the laughter in her eyes and the failing-to-be-straight mouth, he knows she knows and that it's an ok, since she doesn't shy away from the words 'a show'. So he puts on his best smile and swoops down, purring.

"But if you insist."

When he kisses her, his hand slides to the back of her head, gently grabbing a handful of hair to tilt her head further up, to make the kiss more comfy; she doesn't flinch or move away, which is good, so than he kisses her.

The kiss is hot and open mouthed and Axel is reminded of having sex with her, sure, but it's not like it makes him horny as fuck. It's just a show. A show for Roxas, more appropriately, but what the fuck ever, it's a kiss. Axel hasn't gotten horny from a kiss for a long time, since he was fourteen.

When it's done- just a few seconds, a brief show and all that- he pulls back and she laughs in his face; he lets go of her hair and laughs back, tapping a finger against her cheekbone.

"I still think I owe you a kick in the face." He says sweetly, standing straight up. He glances at her friends quickly, and is pleased to find their gaping mouths. Riku, who deserves to be punched in the face and has silver hair (honest to god, _silver_. How in the hell Namine finds these preppy kids with weird styles is beyond him, but, you know. At least they're not his friends. He's friends with enough freaks, thank you) looks particularly gaped mouth and, above all things, angry. He muses silently on what that means, and then thinks to hell with thinking because, whatever. That kid's problem, not his.

Namine's smile is just as sweet as she says "I don't think you can kick the face you just kissed, Axel."

"I can try and set a new record." He says blithely, grinning. "It'll be a new trend. The kiss and kick."

Before Namine can say anything else, retort or something equally smartass, he turns his gaze up to Roxas' face.

Roxas is blushing a fire truck red, of all things, and when he looks at Axel he only gets redder. He's pretty sure he hasn't seen that red on a human being, ever, and Axel has seen a range of colors and emotions on more than enough human faces, some of them sober, most of them not.

And the worst thing- the absolutely worst thing, since Axel is stupid and mean and an asshole- is that he can't leave it alone.

When he leans across the table, smiling sweetly, eyes lowered and all- Axel knows how to do seductive, thank you- Roxas eyes snap up to him and he's derailed briefly on the color, and what kind of blue they are. He can save that thinking for later, though, because-

"If you want a demonstration, Roxas, you can just ask." He purrs.

Roxas actually physically jerks back into his seat, looking as if he stuck his finger in an electric socket- the hair doesn't really help the image, Axel muses- and the wide eyed, mortified look he shoots Axel is so cute and adorable and kind of makes Axel kind of regret doing that to him. But only kind of.

But when Roxas keeps on looking at him with that wide-eyed, mortified look, face still red as fire, Axel suddenly wonders about the whole point of the stupid show he just put on and realizes he didn't even have one.

At that moment, when Axel himself is totally mortified because there was _no reason at all to do that and it probably made Roxas, you know, not be attracted to his apparent sleaziness_, there's a call from the till and he whips his head around, standing back up.

"Well, food calls and you know how I can't resist food," He blathers because he knows he absolutely can- he's done it for three days before. Namine knows this too because she's done it with him too. And the way she's smiling? He absolutely knows she knows he made an idiot of himself.

"Of course you can't." She says, and the way she sounds sympathetic makes him realize what a little evil conniving _bitch_ she is.

"Bitch." He says absentmindedly, crooked grin and all. And, when he turns around, "And don't think I'm not going to maim you now!"

As he walks away, the sound of her laughter is the thing that makes him want to maim her the worst.


	2. Chapter 2

Oh God, I'm sorry, I'm horrible.

I know it's been over three years, and I apologize for that, beyond apologize, but I honestly thought that I was done with fanfiction. But I got a mad craving recently, started reading again, read my own stuff, and well- I kind of miss it? It's hard to explain.

Either way this chapter took all of three days and a lot of labour and love. So, I'm sorry, again. And I promise the next chaper will be sooner rather than later.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Axel wakes up in the morning, its to the sound of an ambulance going by; that wouldn't be the problem if the sound of the sirens weren't ripping into his head like a chainsaw. Instead of the usual loud sirens, he practically hears the ambulance screaming _you're hungover you're hungover you're hungover._

When he slants his eyes to the side, the alarm clock's numbers are a blaring bright red that read _you're late for school. _Thank God that doesn't bother him, he thinks, as he swings his legs over the side of the bed, to the sting of the cold hardwood floor.

If he wants to be honest, there's a bit of annoyance that he missed the alarm. From the way his vision swings a bit, he had probably shut it off in a fit of drunken anger. Goddamn, he thinks, and the little part of his conscience that cared about school (and it was definitely probably mostly the part that didn't want to be the 50 year old student still in grade 12) chastises him. He's able to shut it out when he gets to his mini fridge and grabs the first- and one of the only- things sitting on the shelves. The satisfying pop of the beer can as he opens it is only second to the taste of the beer as it hits his lips.

It's probably not his smartest idea, going out with the crew and getting plastered on a school night. Not that he really cared, but, again, see above, yada yada 50 year old student, so on so forth. There's also another small part (ok, not small, it was quite encompassing and always in the background) that thought of Roxas, how he'd feel about seeing Axel after-

Shit, he thinks, glaring into the refrigerator as if it was the one who had controlled his actions the day before. Shit, shit, shit. That's right. That's why he had gotten plastered. He'd made an idiot of himself. For, what, the fourth time in the four interactions he'd had with Roxas? He was on a losing streak with trying to impress the blond. An embarrassing, bumbling, beyond all things retarded losing streak.

The beer tasted bitter. Or maybe it was his realization about how much he was fucking up.

Downing the beer, he throws the empty can into the mostly full garbage bin and walks back into his bedroom. He hadn't noticed it before, but he was _sore_. Just aching. He remembers the moment he blacked out- shot gunning a beer can with Larxene, and losing horribly, then having another one- but that's about it. There's a piece or two that comes floating back, fuzzy around the edges, but they lend no clue as to what had happened the night before.

Pulling on the least dirty pants on the floor, Axel sighs, surveys the room for any shirt that doesn't have one greasy stain or another on it. Whatever, he thinks. Another brilliant, forgettable night. He can deal with that.

By the time he's dressed and halfway out the door, the headache is bouncing back and forth in his skull and he has a feeling that today was going to be a no good, very bad day.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

And he's right.

When he gets to the coffee shop, there's a line that's nearly out the door; nothing he can do about it, he thinks, standing in line. But then he gets to the till and the barista is possibly the most bitchy person on the planet and his sandwich has burnt toast, plus the coffee is stale. In the ten minutes he's in there he feels like everyone is staring at him, and it's hard not to brush it off as paranoia. Maybe he looks fucking fine today, he doesn't know and doesn't really care, but it's getting to a point where he's almost ready to drop kick the next person that stares at him as if he was a living, walking, reincarnation of Satan.

When he gets to school the stares don't stop- if anything, they seem to intensify. Even the teachers, who usually just shake their heads at his attitude, seem to be drilling holes into his face. Yes, he's eye catchingly attractive and all that, he gets it, but the way that Ms. Maleficent (with her creepy droopy face and paleness to rival his own) scowls at him makes him think something is up. Maybe one of the guys drew a dick on his face, he hadn't bothered looking in the mirror, but Jesus- it's starting to wear on his nerves.

By the time he gets to his English class, his nerves are getting trampled on and his scowl could match that of a pissed off cat. A tiger, maybe. A lion? He doesn't know. His comparison of which cat he resembles most is cut short when he walks in and there's Roxas, looking more than cute with glasses (_glasses_, he swoons, quite subtly thank you) and his face buried in the book that was-

Shit, he thinks. There's a test today.

At his entrance the blond looks up, and Axel tries hard not to swoon once more when those big baby blues stare right at him. Then he realizes that he's been staring at the blond for the full 30 seconds he's been in the classroom, and tries not to literally kick his own ass. Instead, he bites his tongue, mutters a hey, and goes to his designated seat (only a couple seats behind his blond lover boy, which he usually loves), intent on resting his eyes until the bell actually rang and class started.

Today was a day where he couldn't care about trying to swoop the blond into his arms and make a great get away together or some shit. Today was a day where he could try not to embarrass himself, maybe, for once. Not that had worked, as witnessed with his brief staring contest with the side of the blond's face, but hey. There was still a chance for him not to embarrass himself further.

His musings are interrupted when he opens his eyes and notices that Roxas was turned around in his seat, staring at him with furrowed eyebrows. His thoughts go back to when he had thought that maybe one of the dicks at his job drew a dick on his face, and he tries not to flush with embarrassment.

"What?" He says abrasively, because he was never the one to handle situations like this (though this one was decidedly different, since, you know, Love of his Life and all) with grace and kindness.

The blond startles, scowls a split second later as if to match his own expression. "Nothing." He bites back. "Just wondering what's up with your face."

Fuck, he thinks, as the fear of drawn dicks on him is confirmed in probably the most embarrassing way possible. Goddamn it.

"Please don't tell me it's that big." His hands go up to his face, feels around as if he can press the drawings away. Except he can't, of course, but just under his eyes feel kind of- raised-

"What? No." Roxas retorts, his eyebrows climbing up his forehead like little fuzzy caterpillars (and how he finds this endearing, he doesn't know. Love is a weird thing like that). "They're not that big."

"Jesus." He says. Looks at the clock and notices he still has five minutes before class starts. The way people are trickling in makes him think he has less time. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, he thinks. "Fuck. I'm going to wash them off."

"Uh." Roxas says. "I don't think its gunna come off."

Dread is balling in the pit of Axel's stomach, as if his breakfast sandwich was trying to make a glorious comeback with all of the alcohol and whatever other greasy shit he had put in there. "What. Don't tell me its permanent marker."

"Uh." Roxas repeats, and his eyebrows have reached new heights. "No. Isn't that tattooed on?"

The Ball of Dread, capitalized because _holy fucking shit_, is a huge thing now, rolling around inside of him like his stomach was a race track. He feels his face go pale, thinks of the future where he has to constantly say _ya, I got drunk one time and decided to tattoo a dick on. my. face. _He feels like his heart is dying. Which, you know, since he has a will to keep on living and all that, is Not a Very Good Thing. Neither is the dick tattooed on his face.

"Please don't tell me it's big." Axel pleads, takes a minute to realize he kind of sounds pathetic, then stops caring because why the fuck was he so stupid, and who is he going to kill for this? Because it's going to be a bloody blood bath. Bigger than the crusades or the revolution or any damned war, because there will be blood.

"No, they're not that big." Roxas says, looking slightly worried about the state of Axel's mental health. "I mean, they kind of look like triangles."

Axel stares.

"What."

Roxas is starting to look like he's more than a little weirded out by Axel. Which is, yes, kind of normal- when isn't Roxas thinking he's high- but the way he's looking at him is as if he's an escaped mental patient with something extremely sharp in his hand. "Well, ya." Roxas looks closely at his face, and it's hard for him not to break out into smiles as if his favourite boy band member is serenading him. "It's not like you have a giant dick on your face."

Oh thank god, he thinks, before worrying if Roxas has some mind reading powers he doesn't know about. In which case, he might have to explain why he has some pretty X rated fantasies about the boy.

"Huh."

And before anything else can be said, the bell rings and that basically ends their conversation. Except, of course, when Roxas snorts at him and turns around. Axel's not sure, or maybe he's imagining things, but he swears he hears a faint "_Idiot." _as the blond turns to the front.

"Takes one to know one." Axel mutters back, defiantly, before thanking God that Roxas didn't hear his fourth grade come back.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You're an idiot." Xion says.

"Shut up, heathen." Axel bites back, intent on studying his face markings a bit more.

Xion is- an acquaintance, more on the friend side of things really. She's a pretty girl, short black hair and eyes like blue lightening. She's also one of the biggest stoners Axel knows, which is great because Axel loves weed, and he likes hanging with Xion. She's cool, better than most of the people in their perfect little preppy high school.

At the moment, they're sitting in Xion's car, smoking a spliff and listening to Fidlar, a band that Axel can definitely relate to beyond all others- _I do a bunch of drugs I'm a fiend I'm an addict all messed up watching television static _- almost ridiculously. He's also prodding at his tattoos, which actually look more like upside down tear drops. The ink looks like a blend between a dark purple and black, and it's shiny and raised. He doesn't know where he got them- all he has is a flash of memory, of him sitting back and there being a bright light above him, and a buzzing sound. He can't even ask the rest of the crew, as they're all working and can't get to their phones.

The tattoos are also the reason Xion is calling him an idiot, which, no surprise.

"You have to admit, it looks cool as fuck." Axel says, prodding them some more. They're certainly growing on him.

Xion is quiet to his side, letting out an exhale of breath and smoke moments later. "Ya, maybe." She says, begrudgingly. Axel smirks, sticks out his tongue in the mirror. "But dude, seriously, your face? You couldn't get a pony on your ass or something?"

Axel snorts at her, grabs the spliff from her hands and takes a huge inhale. He holds it in, squeezes his eyes shut as the tobacco and weed invade his lungs like little soldiers on a mission to obliterate him. A second too long and he's hacking up a lung, the little soldier's celebrating their tiny victory as Axel spits everywhere. Xion pats his back hard, unsympathetically, as Axel gasps for breath.

"Idiot." She repeats, taking the spliff from him with her fingernails.

"Shut up." He says, eyes still watering. He hates coughing- ya, he knows it's supposed to make you higher, feel up above the clouds are something, but the stinging in his throat ruins everything. "And ponies are only for pussies."

Xion laughs at him, smudges the burning end of the spliff into her ashtray- chock full of cigarette butts and unwound joint filters- and opens the window just as a freshmen walks by. She turns around and glares into the car, and Axel and Xion simultaneously stick their middle finger up, one big _fuck off._ Axel sees her sniff at them, watches her stomp away angrily, and smirks.

"Either way," He continues, rolls down his window a smidgen so he can let the air out. "I think they're cool. Fucking spectacular."

"If you say so."

"I do." Axel remarks, stares at his fingers as his brain feels lifted up beyond the clouds, further and further and further. Fuck ya, he thinks. Then he thinks of food, and maybe some Ducky's, which is probably the most disgusting, greasy ass fast food in town. It makes his stomach rumble, and he thinks- why not? He only has one class left anyway, and he's sick of people starting at him. "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Xion turns the key in the ignition without a second thought, grins lazily at him. "Where to?"

"Ducky's, motherfucker. Let's go make ourselves sick."

They both grin at each other, Xion only turning to put the car in reverse. And even though it's a tiny little thing, a little silver Yaris that looks like it belongs to a soccer mom, the punk rock blaring out the windows as they burn rubber out of the school parking lot makes Axel feel glorious.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After eating Ducky's with Xion, they drive to his house and share another spliff, shooting the shit while a different band- King Tuff, he thinks- plays in the background. After that's done they say goodbye and Axel gets out of the car, saunters up his driveway as Xion drives away. As he opens the door he feels a buzz in his pocket, slides his hand in and takes it out as soon as he's kicked off his shoes. Larxene's name is on the screen, phone continuously buzzing in his hand to let him know that she's calling him. He presses the 'talk button', brings it up to his ear.

"Yo." He quips, heads straight down the stairs and towards his bedroom so his mom doesn't open the back door to invade in on his life. He loves the woman with all of his itty bitty heart, but moms aren't supposed to smell the weed smoke on their kids, or see the new tattoos. That, he thinks, is going to be a disaster.

"Hey babe." Larxene says; in the background he can hear wind whistling, the faint sound of some music whispering in his ear. "How's the face."

"Hot as hell, as always." He smirks, practically hears the sound of Larxene smirking back. "Especially with these beau-ti-ful new additions, if I do say so myself."

"You wish." She remarks; he can hear her swear, then just the sound of the radio; in the thirty seconds it takes her to speak again, Axel has flopped down on the couch, turned on his TV and flipped open his computer. "You look like jailbait."

"I don't know if I'm supposed to take offence to that or not." Axel shoots back, eyes the food crumbs gracing the keyboard and the porn open in his browser. A late night snack-and-whack last night, he thinks, before returning his attention to the phone conversation at hand. "I mean, you're saying that someone will find it hot enough that they'd go to jail for it. That might be a compliment. I think you're losing your touch."

"Eat a dick." Larxene absentmindedly says, has another moment of silence as she does something- pulls over from driving, maybe. "I'm guessing you don't remember shit though. You were pretty drunk."

"I don't remember a single thing." He turns the volume off and presses the play button on the porn, watches as the porn stars start moving. The one guy's face is off screen, so all he sees is the lanky body, the tan skin; the other one, however, is- also a guy, which is surprising because Axel doesn't really like gay porn, hates the twinks he usually sees gracing his monitor. But this one, the guy bent over and being fucked hard, is… well, a twink, but he holds a strange resemblance to Roxas. He must have searched long and hard for that one. And speaking of hard- seeing what kind of looks like Roxas is rerouting his brain to things he shouldn't be thinking about at the moment.

Bringing his attention back to Larxene and pausing the porn, he snorts. "I'm guessing you were there."

"Standing proudly by." Larxene smirks across the phone again. That's her favourite expression, and it actually looks quite stunning, sure, but right now he kind of wants to poke her eyes out. "I'd love to say I tried to stop you, but. I didn't."

"Asshole." He laughs, doesn't feel too betrayed because, in all honesty, he'd probably do the same thing.

"Listen, gotta go." He hears the repetitive dinging of a door opening, assumes he's right about her driving. "Have a date with my couch and the boy toy."

"I hope you get AIDS."

"Go fuck yourself." She says, and all that's the goodbye he gets before she hangs up on him. He chuckles a little to himself, stares at the paused porn before he exes it off and goes to Facebook. Yes, the twink in the porn reminded him of Roxas, but he was nothing like Roxas and he didn't want to taint his precious image of the boy.

He browses the web for awhile, watches some cartoons ('China, IL', which is actually kind of hilarious), thinks about having another beer, decides against it since his pay check isn't coming for another couple of days, and finds that he is generally bored out of his mind. Axel is a social butterfly- a goddamned Casanova who thrives on the attention of others. And ya, he admits that about himself. He just likes people though. Most people like him. Well, the ones he likes, anyways. The point is, though, that he hates being alone. He refuses to think of the connotations of that as he opens up his contact list and goes through the list, pausing over any possibility of distraction. Pausing in the 'N' section, he eyes Namine's name as if it's about to jump out at him and stab his eye out.

"Fuck it." He mutters, before pressing the name and then the little phone symbol.

The ringing in his ear is long; he ignores it, waits as patiently as he can for a pick up. It's about the fourth ring when he goes to hang up before he hears it being interrupted and then a soft voice. "Hello?"

"Baby girl!" Axel practically yells, exuberantly, enough to almost make himself wince. "We should do something. Anything. I'm bored out of my fucking skull here."

She giggles over the phone; Axel looks at a picture of one of the girls on his Facebook feed, half naked and ass out. He goes to her page and deletes her as a friend. He hates attention whores. What the fuck is the point of putting half naked pictures of yourself on Facebook, of all fucking places. Jesus, he thinks, then wonders why he's so annoyed with it.

"Sorry, but I can't." She says; Axel can imagine her smiling, maybe doodling on her leg again. "I'm kind of busy."

"Like what? What can be more important than yours truly?" He gushes, tries to make it sound as if, if she skips out on this opportunity, she'd regret it for the rest of her pretty natural life.

"Well," She says, pauses; he hears something in the background, but can't quite hear what. "I'm actually with Roxas right now."

His brain short circuits, as he stares at the book of faces, unfocused and ears ringing. It takes a moment before his brain boots back up, goes online, and all he can say is "Oh reeeeaaallllyyyyy."

"Yep." She says; he hears a muffled _Namine! _in the background, and realizes he's hearing his Little Blond Beloved. "He told me you got some new tattoos, by the way."

He thinks he needs a new brain because his short circuits again, mostly due to the fact that _Roxas had been talking about him. _He had willingly talked about Axel, which meant that he had willingly thought about Axel, which meant that he had been in Roxas' head, on his own, at least for a bit.

It's not a big deal, it really isn't, but the thought of Roxas thinking about him sends chills all up and down his spine, makes him feel a little hot all of a sudden. The part of him that thinks like a teenage girl is jumping up and down, wondering what Roxas thought about him and if he thinks anything else about him and if there's any possibility that-

"Axel? Are you there?" Namine says, her voice half amused and half wondering if he had hung up.

"Uh, ya." He responds intelligently. "Ya. I am."

"Good." She says, then continues. "So do you remember it at all or were you too plastered?"

Their conversation lasts about a good five minutes, Axel a washed out version of himself over the phone as Namine asks him questions over the phone and he answers. He's hyper aware of Roxas on the other end, any word loud enough he can hear practically blaring over the phone - _…want something to drink?... Here… -_ and aware that, yes, Namine is completely, 100% amused by all of this.

By the time they say their goodbyes Axel is dazed and out of focus, still in the exact same position from when he had phoned Namine. It takes him a minute to get up, before he can walk over to his mini fridge and open it up, grabbing the last beer can.

As he opens it up and chugs it, he reflects on the fact that he's fucked. Completely, 100%, utterly fucked.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next few weeks are a normal, fuzzy blur. He goes to school, gets chastised over the fact that he keeps on fucking around, pretends to become an upstanding moral student, fails at that. Goes to work, drinks a couple of times with them (with no new tattoos showing up in the morning, thankfully), gets paid. Gets yelled at by his parents after they finally see him and his new additions, which have healed nicely, without any infection or problems. Since they can't do nothing about it, they try to ground him for a week. Fail, as they had only half-heartedly tried and he is, after all, Nineteen.

It's rolling around Halloween when he's talking with Demyx in the hallway, outside of Mr. Leonhart's classroom, about the possible parties they might be wrecking.

"I mean, it's _All Hallow's Eve_." Axel croons, shifts against the wall he's leaning against. "What better time to get shitfaced while dressed like a vampire."

"Fuck that." Demyx says, crinkles his nose. Axel can imagine Demyx imagining him in a modern vampire ensemble, with a pea coat, swept up hair, and sparkles all about. He almost blanches at that, too, but snorts instead.

"I mean," Demyx continues. "There's so many other better costumes in which to get shit faced."

"Agreed." Axel nods, reaches into his pocket to pull out his phone after feeling the buzz of a text against his thigh. They got a little time, he notices, before class starts. Or before he skips to go to work, anyways. "Did you hear about Namine's party?"

Namine's parties are usually pretty fucking fantastic. With a mix of jocks and preps and stoners and fuck ups, it's always kind of interesting. There's always more than a couple of noise complaints, and at least one visit from the cops. It's not a success if it isn't, and he knows that it will be this year. He has a pretty fucking good feeling about it, anyway.

"Nah." Demyx shakes his head, moves his backpack from one shoulder to the other. "Didn't hear about it but that'd be a good place to start."

"Or end." He says, smirking. He's about to continue, about to say that Lexaeus can probably let them into his dive bar for a couple dozen drinks, when a flash of blond arrives next to them and his mouth goes dry.

"Hey Demyx. Axel."

"Hey Roxy." Demyx grins at the glare Roxas shoots at him, holds up a hand that's half in greeting and half in apology; Axel is still reeling from the simple hello, which is fucking ridiculous because it wasn't even that great of one, in all honesty. Sub par, even. "What's up."

"I was just wondering if you have my notes from yesterday." Roxas leans back, casually, crosses his arms after adjusting his shoulder bag- because of course Roxas has a shoulder bag, not like the boring old backpacks that everyone else has. Maybe he feels more like an adult with one, but it makes Axel's lips curl into a smile.

"Ya, sure, one second." Demyx says, drops his backpack to the ground and opens the zipper. Axel doesn't know what to say, which is why he's thankful when his friend keeps on talking, ever the motor mouth. "It really helped, your notes were all detailed and shit- like, man, you must of worked hard on them-"

"Not really." Roxas interrupts, blushing; Axel half wants to grab him and kiss the blush away, half wants to strangle Demyx for being able to make Roxas blush the way he is now. "I just- I don't know."

Let it be said again- Axel loves the fact that Roxas has the social skills of a grumpy bear.

Demyx laughs, stands up with a stack of papers in his hands. "Either way man, genius." And before anything else can be said, he continues. "What's your plans for Halloween?"

Here, it's like Axel's hearing triples, to the point where he can hear his heart beating. He feels like he's holding his breath, waiting for the answer, as if it would be _oh, just going over to Axel's house to give him the sweetest surprise of his life_. If only, he thinks, before realizing he might die of a heart attack if such a thing were to ever happen.

"Well." Roxas says, interrupts the multitude of scenarios going through Axel's head. "I was thinking of Namine's party. Apparently they're pretty good."

"The Best." Demyx says, hammers each word in with a wide grin of pearly whites. Axel nods absentmindedly, mind already on the fact that, holy God in heaven, if it were true, he would truly, one hundred percent convert. Or, not really. But he'd think about it. For a minute.

Roxas looks at his watch, looks back up at them a moment later, which is enough time for Axel to stare at him with longing and hope, and then look away once he realizes he's being creepy again. "Class starts soon so I'll see you inside. See you, Axel."

And that- that's enough to make his heart beat a thousand times faster as the blond lifts his hand and gives him a limp wave as he turns and goes inside the door to Axel's right. A goodbye, simple and sweet and just for Axel and sweet Jesus, why does he have it so bad?

Then he looks at Demyx's face, the knowing smile and the laughter in his eyes. He shoots him a scowl, and because the situation calls for it, winds up and punches Demyx in the arm. "Shut up." He says over the blond's whine.

Since Demyx was never one to stay mad long (which is probably the trait one needs most when dealing with him, he grudgingly admits), the grin is back on his face in a split second and he elbows Axel, lightly, teasingly, as if all of the things he could say about Axel's little crush was in that one action.

"I'm guessing that means we're going to Nam's party, eh?"

"Ya." Axel nods, tries not to think of the thousand amazing (and not so amazing, since Axel is a pessimist at heart) possibilities that may or may not happen. "I think so."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The week runs by fast, with work and school and everything in between crowding in on Axel's life like some sort of cancer. Friday, the 31st of October, doesn't seem to come fast enough for him- but when it does, he feels entirely unprepared.

"What the fuck am I going as." Axel scowls in the mirror at the cow patterned vest and the cowboy hat on his head, scowls at the mirror even more when he sees Larxene and Demyx laughing at him. "I'm not going as some fucking Woody rip off."

"But come on, you look absolutely-" but here Demyx doesn't finish his sentence before he bursts out into another laugh. "Shit, I'm sorry, no, that's fucking terrible."

If Axel's face could break in half, it probably would from the force of his scowl. He turned around, took off the hat and whipped it at Demyx' face; since it wasn't cow skin and was, instead, made of hard, unforgiving plastic, it whacks him in the face, causing the laughter to turn into a whine.

"Don't take it out on the boy because you look like the gayest cowboy on the planet." Larxene says, and God did Axel wish he had the cowboy hat so he could whip it at her face instead. "I mean, we're in the fucking Halloween warehouse, you're going to be able to find something."

"Then why was it so easy for you fuckers." Axel grumbles, takes off the vest and throws it on the stool, where there's an ever growing pile of rejected costumes (including a mummy, a skeleton, and for some reason that he can't fathom, a cat costume). In Larxene's lap there was a pile of clothing that was, supposedly, a pregnant nun costume; Demyx had picked something a little more easier, a yellow jump suit and a gas mask that was supposed to be off of the show _Breaking Bad_, or something. For a show about drugs, Axel had never really been interested in it.

"Because we're naturally beautiful and anything can look good on us." Larxene purrs, getting up to circle Axel. Her eyes are lighting up and he hates that fucking look on her face, because it usually means that he's going to be in for a world of hurt or a world of confusion. "But," She says, as a smirk widens on her face. "I think I have something that will blow your little blond's socks off."

An hour and a half later, Axel leaves the store, grinning his fool head off. Because, yes, maybe, just maybe, he could make Roxas look at him twice that night.

.oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

By the time 8pm rolls around, Axel's prepared. He's more than prepared, as he grins at himself in the mirror, hands on his hips and standing as if he was the hottest thing on planet earth. And he was (not really, but part of Axel's confidence came from his self delusion, which he knew about but chose to ignore), if he did say so himself. With the way that Demyx was grinning at him, he'd like to think the boy agrees.

"So whaddya think?" Axel turned around, struck a pose like a runway model. The blond laughed at him, lounging in his yellow hazard suit as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Think I'm gonna knock the socks off of anyone who graces my presence?"

"Oh yes." Demyx agreed, nodding solemnly as if the matter of him getting into anyone's (or Roxas', really, but he was being broad) pants was the most dire situation in the world. "You're gunna kill 'em, Axel."

For the next couple of hours they drink some beers, smoke some weed, take some mdma and play the music as loud they want since Axel's mother has gone out to some dinner party or another. By the time they're heading out the door and towards Demyx' car, he's high, feeling the drug in his veins rolling through them like wind through a field. With the car started and the music loud enough to shake the windows they head out, whooping and cat calling all the way to Namine's.

He doesn't know how she swung it but Namine got her parent's house, a big sprawling character home that looks like a mansion from the 60's, with a lush yawn the size of a small city block. It has a wrap around porch and a deck on both the second and third stories, with windows bigger than some people's houses. It makes Axel licks his lips, makes his teeth chatter and his heart jump- but that might be the drugs, probably is the drugs, but Axel doesn't give a shit. He wants to PARTY, capitalized because damn does he feel like being famous tonight.

They go in the door, hollering to all the people they know and see. Half of them holler back, already drunk and rolling for the night; others laugh, smile real chill because of the weed Axel can smell on them, pungent and beautiful and everything he wants. He takes a couple drags, shares the smoke with some of the girls and boys. It's only when he sees Namine, dressed as an angel with her white dress and tiny white wings, that he slows it down, wraps his arms around her from behind (gingerly, of course, he didn't want to fuck up her costume).

When she turns around her smile is just as innocent as she pretends to be, but the way her eyes go up and down his body makes him grin and think of the little devil inside of her. "Axel!" She croons, reaches up to give him a hug. "You look positively amazing."

"I know, daaahling." He drawls, tries to look bored but can't help the grin on his face from taking over. "I feel perfect."

She grins back at him. "Almost. Come with me."

They go up stairs, up and up and up to a room that leads to the third story balcony. Axel thinks that he might be getting laid, is disappointed (or, well, not entirely, he wants to party downstairs, be social, _interact_) when Namine opens a drawer and takes out some paint.

"Sit down." She says, and he does, because he's not going to say no.

It takes all of five minutes, all of which are spent with Namine hemming and hawing and making sure her creation is perfect. Once she's done she smiles, tells him to get up so he can look at the mirror. And, damn, he thinks, staring at his reflection. How could Namine make his costume more perfect?

"There." She says, and by the way her voice sounds she think she's perfected him, too. "You're the perfect Native American war hero."

And he is; standing tall and proud in the mirror, he feels like one. From his pants, which are tan leggings with tassels and a 'beaded' (well, painted on; it was a costume store, after all) breechclout hanging over his hips, to his headdress, a tan band with beads and feathers, he had looked pretty damned good before. It definitely helps that he's tall and lanky in all the right places, he thinks. But now, with the double lines of purple war paint dropping from his forehead to his chin, the white line crossing them over his cheekbones, and the two thick red rectangles mirrored on both sides of his chest, he feels like a Halloween God.

But then Namine hmm's, and he turns around. "What? Not great enough yet?"

"Not quite." She smiles, makes him sit down again. Another five minutes are spent with her hands in his hair, braiding away at some pieces and rearranging his hair around his headband. Once done, they grin at each other again, then go arm and arm down the steps.

For the next hour Axel interacts with _everyone_. With Xion, he twirls her around to the sounds of some obscure electronica band that even Demyx doesn't know about. With Hayner, Pence, and Olette, three sports nerds who were actually kind of dull, he plays some beer pong (and wins because, c'mon, beer pong is one of his secret talents). Even Riku, who he's pretty sure hates him because he has the most obvious crush on Namine in the world, shotguns a beer with him and gives him a small smile when he wins and Axel pats him on the back, no hard feelings at all.

Of course, he's waiting for the one person who he thinks would make his night more fantastic than it already is. It's about half an hour later, half an hour after he snorts a line of coke in the bathroom with some kid named Wakka, that his little blond beauty walks in the door. And Axel can only stare, because, shit- the kid was practically wearing the same costume Axel had tried on. He's a goddamned _cowboy._

He has a blue plaid shirt on, and a vest that's not cow skin patterned (thank god), but is actually what looks like a real brown leather. He has a holster attached to the loose belt slung around his waist, a little gun tucked into it, and a cowboy hat that almost looks to big for his head. The jeans and the cowboy boots are, of course, there, but it's the little bolo tie (which looks like a heart with horns) that really brings it all together.

And it makes Axel want to absolutely positively _die._

Before he can stare any longer, Demyx jostles into his side, grins loud and wide when he realizes who just walked in the door when he follows Axel's line of sight. "I see your lover boy is kinda complimenting you."

"I know." Axel says, tries to swallow but finds that his throat feels a bit dry.

"Time to go make him fall for you, ya?"

Axel tries not to stare some more, tries not to focus on how cute Roxas is and more on how cute Roxas would be with him. As a way to get confidence, of course, but for all of Axel's 'life of the party' ways of the last two hours, he doesn't know how to act confidently anymore.

So he has another drink.

And a couple more of course. In this time he's circling the house, tries not to focus too hard on Roxas and play it cool, as if the blond cowboy was just any other person that Axel had set his eyes on. Thinks of all the perfect ways he can hit on him (like _let's play cowboys and Indians- you can chase me down and ride me like a stallion_, which he thinks is clever, thank you very much), But. It's different. He tries not to think of it that way, tries to be as loud and boisterous as he usually is. And if he's mostly in the same rooms as Roxas, at the same time? Well. The house isn't big enough for them _not _to run into each other.

He makes out with a couple people, dances with a couple more, wrestles with some blond kid dressed as a pirate and accidentally knocks into Sora, whose standing right beside Roxas. He shoots them a shit eating grin, tries not to linger on Roxas too long, and then declares his victory to everyone around him by managing to pin the kid down. He tries not to look out at the corner of his eye, tries to build up his confidence by thinking about the fact that he's flushed, a little sweaty, and looks as if he just had a marathon of sex.

His confidence is boosted when he looks out of the corner of his eye and sees Roxas staring at him, wide eyed and a little flushed himself. But that could be the alcohol, he thinks, grinning as he gets up and offers a hand to the blond. He's momentarily distracted when his wrestling partner takes him to the kitchen so that can do Jager bombs, which is so not Axel's forte but, hey- he's a goddamned Champion, he can handle a little alcohol.

An hour or so later, around 2 or 3 am, the party is winding down, practically halved so that all that's being taken up is the massive living room. It's at this time that Namine usually tries to finish the party, in probably the best way possible- Truth or Dare. Her reasoning, she had once told Axel, sketching in her book and eyes only half focused from the hit of acid she'd done, is that whoever wasn't hooking up at that time had the chance to do so now.

Definitely the time to do so, he thinks, as he sits Indian style in a haphazard circle on what was the dance floor. People look either too eager or half drunk, and those who are already coupled are sitting outside of the circle, holding their significant others. It is with a giddy glee that Axel slants his eyes slightly to the right and sees Roxas in the circle, leaning against the wall like a particularly delicious glass of water. He looks wide awake but still drunk, a little smile gracing his lips. What he wouldn't give to kiss that expression into something else, he thinks, before he focuses on the game at hand.

It starts off small, as it usually does- Namine starts the game with spinning the bottle ("To keep it so everyone gets to play." She had said when explaining the game to him) so it landed on a flapper girl with flipped up hair. The girl giggled, picked truth; Namine asked her what was the worst thing she had done that night, and the whole circle was surprised when the girl admitted to doing some coke. Axel grins. For starting off easy, he thinks, it's going to be a good game.

And it is- no truth or dare is made for anyone that would be considered a minority or a virgin. All the truth questions reveal shocking things about everyone (one of the surprising things is that, yes, Riku has slept with a man, and yes, that Olette girl has had a threesome before), and the dares are either ridiculously hot or ridiculously silly. At one point Demyx is bent over while Namine pretends to give it to him from behind, ass slapping and hair pulling included; then there's when Tifa, a girl with the largest tits he's ever seen, and Rikku, a bouncy blond girl dressed as a sexy nurse, make out for a full five minutes in the middle of the circle, doing everything they could above clothes. Axel had to light up a smoke watching them, and it was with some mirth he noticed Roxas with his legs closed, blushing hard and eyes unfocused. Who wouldn't find that hot, he thinks, surprising himself with how jealous he wasn't.

Axel himself is dared to demonstrate the dirtiest position he's ever been in, and it's with a big grin he makes Demyx, Namine, _and _(for shits and giggles, really) Riku come to the middle of the floor, positioning them so that Demyx looked like he was fucking him from behind, Namine was lying on the floor with Axel between her legs, and Riku was positioned over Namine's face (since the silver haired kid wasn't cooperating, not a lot of people could tell if he was supposed to be getting his ass licked or his dick sucked). It's when Demyx is an asshole and humps Axel from behind that he finds himself with a face full of clothed pussy (which makes Namine squeal and giggle) and everyone laughs. He even gets a high five or two when they detangle from each other and he makes his way over to his seat, sits crossed legged once again. He notices Roxas staring at him, and he can't help it; he winks. The blond looks away from him, blushing, and Axel is too far gone to think about if Roxas thinks he's sleazy or not.

It rolls around the circle again, comes to him after several turns when Demyx spins the bottle. With the way the blond meth cooker is looking at him, Axel tries not to glare too hard. Tries to grin lazily instead, decides to go for the truth aspect of things when his friend asks him.

"Alright, Axel." Demyx says, all grins and smiles and outright charm. "If you could, who would you fuck in this room?"

It goes quiet, a few conversations going on here or there because not everyone cares about the life altering question Demyx has just asked Axel. And it is life altering, because, fuck, what is he supposed to say? He can't not lie, as there was some sort of rigid standard he held himself to when playing one of Nam's truth or dare games. But he couldn't tell the truth either because- because Roxas, that's why.

He swept his eyes around the room, pursed his mouth. Looks around again, and because he can't help himself, because the drugs do give him a little bit of courage, he lingers on Roxas for a second, sweeps his gaze to the right of him after that moment because he feels like if he holds his stare awhile longer he might break down and tell the truth. So he goes for the next best thing, someone he would fuck in a heart beat- to a silver haired girl wearing cat ears and a regular set of clothing.

"Paine, baby girl!" He says, winks at her when she scowls at him, mostly because it was well known that the lady herself liked the ladies for herself. "You know I'd love to have a go."

"I'd like to have a go at breaking your face in." She scowls, and there's titters all around before the game continues.

It lands on Roxas a couple turns later, and it's quite a boring question- "What's the worst drug you've done?", "Uhm. Ecstasy." - which is like a signal that the game is winding down. Some people even leave, but it's not over yet.

Oh God, he realizes, as he watches Namine spin the bottle and sees her shooting him the most polite, shit eating grin when it lands on Roxas. It's not even close to being over yet.

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas." She sings, leans forward a bit so that she can smile at him as if she's the most innocent person in the world. "Truth or Dare?"

He's trying to send telepathic messages to the boy, pleading with him to pick truth because there was no way in hell that Namine would be so bold as to ask directly about Axel. But either the boy isn't a mind reader or Axel's thoughts never reach him, because the boy shrugs his shoulders and says "Dare."

Oh no, Axel thinks, with a sense of dread and excitement battling within him.

Namine pretends to think- even puts her finger to her lips as if to show everyone she's putting some real thought into this- before she smiles at him. Fuck, Axel thinks. "I dare you to give…." Here, she surveys the room, pretends to really think about who she should pick. Like hell she won't pick him, sadistic little bitch, he thinks, and is proven right. "… Axel a lap dance."

Both his and Roxas' face drop; his because he's trying to hide the giddy, excited feeling, and the dread about the massive hard on that he's about to get, and Roxas' because- well, he doesn't know why, but the way the blond is blushing redder than his hair means he's very embarrassed. Or excited, a hopeful part of Axel likes to think, but he squashes that with his worry about the reaction he's going to get.

"Can I-" Roxas chokes, clears his throat. "Can I do something else?"

Part of him is offended, but most of him is agreeing, nodding it's head, because- shit. This was not what he thought was going to happen. But Namine smiles serenely, as if she was more asking him to do the dishes instead of giving into all of Axel's wants and needs and fantasies. "That, or you can go streaking."

Everyone cat calls at that and, if anything, Roxas blushes harder. Axel wants to go with the second option too because, hey- naked Roxas. What's to complain about there?

"Whatever." Roxas says, and the cat calls get louder as someone sets a chair in the middle of the room and another fiddles with the stereo system, trying to find the perfect song.

Ever the gentlemen, he decides to be kind. Gets up, makes his way over to Roxas, and holds out a hand. The blond looks up at him, terrified, and Axel tries not to grin like a pervert at him and tries to settle his mouth into a kind, inviting smile.

"C'mon," He says. "I'll make sure you only have to do it for a minute."

"Has to be for the whole song-" Namine tries to say, smiling wider, before Axel interrupts her.

He turns around, glares at her. "Go die in a fire."

Before he can turn around again he feels a warm hand in his, feels a tug that's warning enough to make sure he braces himself as he turns around and looks at Roxas. And yes, he knows, he's supposed to be dying of excitement that Roxas is going to be all over him in t-minus one minute, but the way the boy is smiling at him, softly, gratefully, is the thing that really gets his heart going.

Someone starts the music, something with a deep bass and a quick tempo. He sits down in the chair, a flimsy little thing, and turns his gaze to the little cowboy. His little cowboy, something tries saying within him, but he squishes that thought down with a swallow because his throat is dry again and he feels so so nervous.

The blond starts, gingerly stepping towards him, seems to pause and think for a second. And it might be the alcohol, or it might be because the blond is stubborn as all hell, but something seems to come over him and he steels his mouth, focuses his eyes on Axel. If anything, it makes his stomach drop more, and he thinks, oh shit.

The whistles and cat calls start when Roxas takes the hat off his head, places it on Axel with a bit of a flourish that he's surprised Roxas has in him, and tilts it so it covers Axel's eyes. He goes to move it up so he can see all of Roxas, every single part of him, but it's stopped with Roxas' hand, which- _holy god_- is placed on the blond's chest, is pushed up so that Axel can feel all of him. _All of him, _hand sliding up so that Axel can feel his ribs and his chest, the curve where neck meets collarbone. Axel feels like he's about to combust, like he's fourteen years old again and watching his first porno- he's actually so close, especially when he feels a weight on his lap that is definitely, definitely Roxas.

The lyrics start up, a soft and sensual female voice that teases him as Roxas does , tilting the hat up so when he can see, it's right into Roxas' eyes. He feels frozen, almost, because- _why_, his brain screams- for some reason, his hips jerk up and the blond is suddenly pressed right against him. The way his eyes are wide and surprised, Roxas wasn't expecting that either, but he goes with it- presses himself tight against Axel until he's seated _right there_. The cat calls and the whistles are quiet beneath the song- _hey yeeeaaahh, you're a wildfire, got me burning higher_- and Roxas, only Roxas, is all he can see.

The rest of the lap dance seems to drag on in the most pleasurable, torturous way possible, like slipping into a drug induced coma. And it definitely lasts more than a minute; hands go up his chest, trail along the back of his neck, hips gyrate a bit and at one point, Roxas even puts Axel's hands on his hips, slides them ever so close to his ass before teasingly pulling away. And he can feel it, he's hard as rock, pounding nails hard, but the way that Roxas looks at him- like he's his very own sexual fantasy- makes his stomach tie in knots and his heart die.

It's at the finish of the song, when he can tell it's winding down, where Roxas kneels close to his ear, pretends like it's all part of the routine. He can practically feel his lips, ghosting over his ear lobe, so he closes his eyes because he just _can't. _But then Roxas whispers into his ear.

"Thanks for trying to stick up for me."

And that's it- the song ends with the final beat of bass and Roxas jumps off him like he was a roller coaster that made him sick. The cat calls are ridiculously loud, some people even asking if they can have a turn, but Roxas just blushes hard and scuttles back to his seat, leans against the wall and resolutely looks down, as if his dare involved having a stare off with the floor. After a few minutes of noise, where Axel hurries awkwardly to his seat, dazed and elated and just confused on how he should feel, that the game continues.

Only for fifteen minutes more, anyway, because it seems like everyone knows the night is finished. And thank god, he thinks, as he gets up with Demyx and goes to hug Namine before they leave.

"I hate you." He hisses, hugging her tightly just so he can say so in her ear.

"I know." She whispers back, like the fucking bitch she is, and let's go of him to smile as if he had only thanked her for the fun time. "Sweet dreams!"

"Fuck off." He grumbles, and as soon as Demyx hugs her and they have a laugh together at his expense, they turn to leave; Axel making like a bat out of hell and trying to not sneak a peek at Roxas because- because he's not sure why, honestly, but he feels like it'd be the wrong thing to do, like it might embarrass them both further.

It's when they're in the car, Demyx humming along to Beck, Axel sitting quietly in the passenger seat, when he realizes that, throughout the night's excitement, he hadn't even tried to hit on Roxas once.


End file.
